My Vision!

My Vision

I came here to Belfast without any vision, just looking for God. But God had different plans for me. I was talking to my sister in December 2008, and asking about what was happening back in my community at home. She told me that one of the girls I was leading in the Zulu Tribal Celebrations died of AIDS in that same month. She was eighteen years old. After that conversation I felt a burden in my heart for the entire day. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but once I shared what was going on in my heart, I discerned what it was. I felt like I have to take responsibility to lead the youth in my area at home, because it was only through the grace of God that my life was transformed. I want to teach them about how to live life, like I was taught with the Life Skills Course, and give them the tools needed to turn their lives around. I want to inspire them with hope and vision, because the youth really suffer from a lack of hope, and many are dying of AIDS. After receiving this initial burden, I started to dream of what I could do back home. I received a vision from God: There was a garden with many dry trees around, and I came into the garden in the form of water. God used me to revive the trees and bring them back to experiencing abundant life. It was after this dream that I was reminded of the story of Nehemiah. He heard that things weren’t going well for his people, and he felt great sorrow for them. He fasted and prayed for several days. He cried out to God, asking for forgiveness for his people because they were leading sinful and disobedient lives. After praying and waiting on God, Nehemiah immediately began taking action. He started making preparations.

God really used this story to speak to me. Like Nehemiah, after praying and crying out for my people, I now know I need to start making preparations before this vision can come to be. There are many skills that I need to begin this work, and I will have to give up my career and go back to University for Community Development Skills, Administration Skills, and Facilitation/Leadership Skills. I would like to start a youth Bible Study as well, and I will need these skills here too, as well as a venue – like a community center – to run this. With all of these things, I will face the challenge of finances. During this time here on this DTS, and the time leading up to it, I have really learned to trust God to provide. When I get back home, I know I need to continue my studies and I will need to talk to the guys I lived with for encouragement and wisdom in starting something new like this. I will need to start fundraising as soon as I get back home too, in order to pay for all these things. There are many practical things I need to get started with, and I need to keep focused on the original vision that God gave me for my people so that I don’t get overwhelmed. He gave me the verse in 1 Chronicles 28:20 that says: “Be Strong and Courageous and get to work. Don’t be frightened by the size of the task, for the Lord my God is with you; He will not forsake you. He will see to it that everything is finished correctly.”

God's call and Trusting in His Provision!

So after everything God called me to Belfast to study at a Discipleship Training School with YWAM, but as you would remember, with my family background we don’t have money and I was doing volunteer work too. So it was too hard for me alone, but I trusted God to provide as He promises: “I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”. So I believed in my God and He provided everything. From my experience walking in this journey with God, I can testify proudly that I’ve seen God through the whole of my life. I’ve seen that God is there waiting for us to change. Waiting for us to repent and to give us forgiveness and His mercy. Let’s give our lives to God and experience His loving-kindness and His amazing grace. He is there to bless us with every gift He has created for us. He wants to give you His desires that He has created you for. I know Him, and He is faithful even when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death. His perfect love is casting out fear and even when you‘re caught in the middle of the storms of this life, He won’t turn His back to you. You’ll fear nothing, nothing at all.

Journey with God

Again I had to move on. After the funeral I moved to the Training Center where I did volunteer work. I lived with three guys - Siyanda, Bongani, and Tseko – and I have a very good relationship with these guys, even now. One day we were running the Life Skills course and we planned to have a concert. The students and us had fundraised for that concert, and it was going to be on Friday, but on the Thursday before, six armed guys came in and pointed guns at us. While we were still shocked, they took me, and I was so scared but God gave me the strength and I became calm. They asked me for money and to give them everything. I thought they’d do anything they want, maybe rape me or kill us, because their faces were not disguised. I thought they would kill us once they were done robbing us because if they let us go we could identify them to the police. They tried to take me but I said: “I gave you everything you wanted so why are you taking me?” and they pushed me back to the guys. Then the robbery was over, and we were left with trauma and nothing to use, because they took all the material. I continued losing weight and staying in the center but I still had trauma.

Journey with God!

My Spiritual Journey

In 2007, I did very well but one day God told me that I had to grow spiritually, and not just dwell in the same place. In that time I was attending my aunt’s church, which ended up seeming like fluff to me because there was no growth there at all. My friends had told me before about YWAM, and as I was praying to God to show me the place that I would receive that spiritual growth He gave me that missions school. He promised me that I would grow and He would take care of everything if I truly believed in Gods presence and believe in Him. I acted very quickly by speaking to one of my leaders. There was no place in YWAM at that time, but I trusted that the time would come.

In 2008, my aunt (Mrs. Cilo) got sick and I had to take care of her, but in March we had a small conflict and she ended up kicking me out of her home, so I had to go back home to my mom. Immediately when I got home, I heard a small voice from God saying: “She needs you”. It was so hard to hear that; I cried and I fasted a couple days to seek God, and lost weight because of that. She called to ask for forgiveness and to come back, she even mentioned that sometimes it’s because of pains and stress because her husband abandoned her, and she had cancer. No one took care of her and she had no children, so it was hard for her sometimes. By living alone, she had developed a short temper, so I had to forgive her because I understood the pain and the suffering. I decided to go back to her and God promised that everything was going to be fine. After that, we had a nice short time together. Her sickness got a lot worse and she really needed me in that time. I am thankful for God’s mercy because by myself, I would not have been able to forgive her for what she did. But God intervened and asked me to go back and take care of her in her last days of earth. It was painful. I had to come back at 11:00 am every day from work to give her medicine and make her lunch because her cancer had spread throughout her entire body and she couldn’t move by herself or stand for a long period of time.

I really saw God in me at that time because it was only the two of us. I took her to the hospital finally. She was so weak she couldn’t even wash herself so I cleaned her and we went to the hospital. She was there for a couple of days and passed away on the 27^th of March 2008. Before her last day she gave me everything she had, even her car, but her husband came back and he fought me for the stuff his wife had given me. So I gave him everything. I had no choice, and rather than losing my life or getting hurt for the things that would pass, I chose the better way. God said: “We should make the Kingdom of Heaven our first priority” because it will never fade.

God is Faithful!

My School Life

I did my last year in Hambangendlela High School in the Maphophoma area. I finished grade twelve at the age of sixteen, because I started school early at the age of four, and I performed very well at school not failing a single grade. But I was a crazy naughty girl who always made noise during the teacher’s time, dodged classes, and skipped class to steal oranges from the school’s neighbor.

My Life Out of School

After grade twelve, I moved to Johannesburg to further my studies. I stayed with my father, his girlfriend, their two kids – a boy and a girl – and his stepdaughter who was the same year as me. I attended S’dingo College doing computer studies. My relationship with his girlfriend/stepmother was good for the whole year of 2004, and we used to go shopping together until August 2005. Her daughter influenced me, and I started doing bad things like falling into relationships. I engaged myself with many things like smoking, going to parties, drinking to get drunk, and I was so close to becoming pregnant. My step mom didn’t like my behavior, so we ended up having a huge conflict because of my misbehavior, and I had to move back home. In the midst of everything, God didn’t forsake me, and He even protected me from HIV/AIDS and unprepared pregnancy. I thank God for that.

In 2006 I moved to Durban (Clermont) to stay with my Aunt (Jabu). I stayed with her for only about 7 months because she was drinking so much and would come home shouting at me. I hated that life so I chose to leave her like that, and I went to KwaNyuswa (Durban) to stay with my second aunt (Mrs. Cilo). I loved her so much. She supported me financially in school, and I can count many other things as well. She told me about the Life Skills Course. I registered there to do the course for one month. Doing Life Skills helped me so much in terms of bringing back my values, my character, and many other things. I was inspired by my facilitators, and I sacrificed my time to volunteer there starting in November 2006. Really, what transformed me were the testimonies of Vusi, Msizi and Siyanda. I observed much from their lifestyles and ended up being influenced. I started to hear the voice of God, and dreaming about my future. I cleaned up my heart with God and began giving up the hindrances that were affecting my journey with my Savior. In that process, I saw God protecting me and being so faithful. I became a close friend with him in such a way that even on my way to shop, I’d speak to him. I began to feel the joy of my salvation and God revealed to me that all these years I had been living in darkness – living life with no hope – and how much he protected me along the way, and that he redeemed me from the trap of the spirit of darkness, etc.

Here is a small portion of the stories that influenced me:

Vusi and Msizi’s Story:

When they were young, they kept themselves occupied through being deeply involved in crime, drug abuse and immorality. The driving force behind these issues was the lack of council, peer pressure, unavailability of safe recreational activities for the youth, and an ignorance of their potential and purpose for existence. They were fortunate to have the opportunity to attend a life skills and leadership course at World Changer’s Academy where they were assisted in gaining insight into their unique potential. They have now been working with World Changer’s Academy for 4 years and are still involved in the co-ordination a life skills development course for unemployed and High Schools students.

During this period, they have both learnt many important skills essential to their development as young leaders. They have gained a good knowledge of the co-ordination of programmes, experience in public speaking and developed interpersonal skills including an understanding of the needs of others and the behavior of people in class. They both want to put back into KwaNyuswa community what they have learned via Light Providers Youth Club. And it is through these testimonies, that my own life was transformed.

Siyanda:

When he was younger, he was involved heavily in drinking and other immoral behaviors. Through doing Life Skills, his life changed around, and now he is a Life Skills leader. He is now able to be a role model for all the youth that come through the program. The youth relate to his past, and he is able to share with them the changes that God has done in his life. His example, along with Vusi and Msizi, impacted me while I was there, and motivated me to make the same changes in my life.

My Community Life!

My Life in Community

I was fourteen years old when I started learning about adolescence, and seeing my friends start to engage themselves into things like drugs, boys, etc. I sat down at home one day looking at the situation – and all the suffering and the hard painful upbringing – and it’s full of anger. I wish to be something else, so that I could look after my mom, and give her everything she could want, to bring the joy into her life that she never experienced in her marriage. So I decided to make boundaries and put distance between nasty things and myself. I didn’t want to mess up my life. I remember one day writing my first letter to God:

The key words were asking God to give me:

1) Strength

2) Protection

3) Values

4) Strong character

5) Right desires

God is so faithful! That year, I joined a team of girls (who are all virgins) and went with them to a Zulu Tribal Celebration. This is where all the Zulu girls – also known as Zulu maidens – come together at the Enyokeni Zulu Royal Palace every year to celebrate the Umkhosi Womhlanga (known as the Reed Dance); this promotes the purity of virgins amongst girls in KwaZulu Natal. The reason it’s called the Reed Dance is because during the dance, the Zulu girls fetch the reeds from the river and bring them to the royal palace to the king. It is during this dance that most kings choose their wives. But I was not there to be chosen; this is a Zulu custom that has been carried out for years now, helping girls preserve their virginity until they get married. The purpose of the Reed Dance is to allow Zulu maidens to meet their king and mingle with the princesses while delivering reed sticks. Every girl must pass a virginity test to attend. The king uses this occasion to address a wide ranging number of issues, more recently focusing on AIDS. I attended this celebration until 2003. I was in grade twelve at that time, and I was the leader of the girls in my community.

My Family Life!

My Parent’s Life

My Dad stayed in Joburg because he was working, and he had no choice because we were still young and we needed support and all the stuff to go to school. My dad was a really good father, he was always taking us around with his car and to visit our grandparents – both my mom’s and his parents – we were so happy around him.

Things changed when in 1994 my dad had an affair. Our relationship started to break apart from there. He slowly stopped coming home and he failed to support us. We started to starve and went to school without shoes, without even a piece of bread in our mouths. It got worse and worse; my mom was trying every day to contact him, and she would go up and down trying to get him back. My mother came from a family where her father tried so hard to provide, and now in her marriage she had to experience going to the neighbors asking for food so we could have something to eat. And in the midst of this, she was pregnant with her last child, who is now twelve. Because of pain and depression my mother ended up being mentally disturbed, but she was able to see it coming before it started. Here is the story: she woke me up in the middle of the night, around twelve o’clock; she said she had a dream. In the dream, a giant man wearing white clothes came to her and he said he knew everything that was going on with my dad trying to abandon her and that he would help her out. My mom believed him; he asked her to burn her church uniform, and my mom did that; he said to go to your brothers and sisters and pray for them, and she did that with respect – unaware that the spirit of darkness was attacking her. This strange man ended up sending her to kill the whole family because he said they caused my father to turn away from home. My mom started to suspect something, but she was so frightened, that although usually she slept alone in her room, in those days she asked us to sleep with her because the man used to appear every night and threaten her. During this time, my sister and I were so young, so she called my grandmother to live with us finally. It helped to be with an old person because she was able to notice that my mom was losing her mind and becoming more arrogant too. So they took her to the hospital where she was treated, and has been doing well ever since. And after a couple months, she gave birth to a lovely sister – and the intelligent one – Sonto.

But my father didn’t show up at all. After my mom came back from the hospital, she was so stressed. So she used to wake up early in the morning and go to her parent’s home, and stay there until evening, then come home just to sleep. I became responsible for my sister and myself. We were all by ourselves and we had no food in that time. My girl friend helped us by saving her lunch for us, or sometimes, when my neighbor’s chickens were laying eggs, we would steal those eggs and make food. Although we were sinning by doing that, we had no other option. So, rather than dying of hunger, we chose to live like that.

We lived like that almost four years – I think I was 9-12 years and my sister was 6-9 years old. My mom tried very hard to get a hold of my father, but there was no response from him, so she decided to arrest him for lack of child support. The situation got better for a while because he was under arrest, but he did well for six months and then he started again. But still, my mom was persistent and constant in prayer. I started to hate my father, but my mom has always encouraged us to trust in God and to love our father. I learned from her to believe in prayer and to be patient, really believing in God – that He would bring light into my dad’s heart, and for him to see how painful it was to know that our father is alive but lacking to support us.

My personal Life!.

My Personal Details

I am Nosipho Ntuli, 21 years old from KwaNongoma in KwaZulu, Natal. Allow me to share my story about my life at home. I have two younger sisters, Mahulu (18) and Sonto (12). I still have both parents, Mr. Vincent and Mrs. Zanele Ntuli, so growing up it was just the five of us. Back in 1988, my family moved to Johannesburg, and we lived there almost four years. Because of fights and conflicts that took place in Johannesburg between the two tribes Xhosa and Zulu, we had to move back to KwaNongoma city I think in 1991, and I studied there from first grade until twelfth grade.